How Teachers Know You're Up to Something

After lunch I'm in a much better mood than I was for my previous post. I have learned a lot in my few weeks as a sub, one of which is how to tell when kids are doing something they're not supposed to be doing. To my students, all of the following have alerted me that something is not quite right:

1. Furtive glances. This is especially obvious when a group of 3-5 of you is doing it at at the same time.

2. Sudden silence.

3. The room is dark and you are bouncing a light-up bouncy ball. It lights up.

4. Someone is yelling in pain/annoyance.

5. Something is stuck to the ceiling.

6. Abrupt laughter.

7. Some kind of projectile emerges from your general area.

8. Other students are whispering/telling/yelling at you to stop it.

9. You are not in your seat.

10. I can clearly see and/or hear you, because I sit in the front of the room.

Welcome to class.

Today I don't know if I can do this.

Today sucks, I'll be honest. I'm at school right now, babysitting a bunch of kids who don't understand anything. Here is a list.

1. The difference between themselves and adults. Here it is: having and upholding responsibilities greater than whether or not they're going to do their homework or smoke pot instead.

2. Teachers are people, not objects you attempt to break down with repeated and blatant disrespect.

3. The fact that swearing makes them look ignorant.

4. The idea of life beyond high school, including making a living and supporting yourself and your family.

5. I. Can. See (and hear). You.

Of course, there are good kids. And for the most part, they're good at heart. I'm just too tired to deal with some kid saying to me, "It's not my fault you took this job." No, but it's your fault that it sucks.
Anyway, I just needed to complain a little bit. Sorry I don't have any clever/funny stories today. I was thinking of getting a job as a full-time teacher someday, but now I don't think I want to. I just don't like stupid people.

Chaela used the big girl potty!

I was going to post this as my facebook status, but I don't think everyone would have appreciated it, ha ha. I just wanted to announce that Chaela used the big girl potty for the first time today (#2). She's currently wearing Daisy Duck big girl undies, so we'll see how it goes the rest of today.
I'll be honest, I didn't expect to start this for another few months!

Happy Second Birthday to Me!

Well, today was my birthday again. I'm really getting into this whole thing, the presents, the cake (even though mommy hasn't made mine yet, she said I get it tomorrow)... the only thing I'm not really sure about is that all of these people keep singing to me. Let's just say none of them are Laurie Berkner.

Anyway, the day went well. It started out with Grandma Katie giving me some presents that she and Grandpa Doug got for me. I got a doll house that makes noises, like the phone ringing and the toilet flushing, and a shopping cart that's just my size! It came with plastic food. I like to pretend that the maple syrup is chocolate milk and the salt is ice cream, ha ha. I'm so creative!

Next, mommy made blueberry muffins. They were yummy. Grandma especially liked them. Then I watched a movie until daddy came upstairs. We hung out for a while, then I took a nap. When I woke up, mommy and daddy had presents for me, too!

They weren't as good as grandma and grandpa's, except for the stuffed puppy named Violet that they gave to me. She sings songs and calls me "Bug" like mommy and daddy do. Other than that, though, mommy dropped the ball a little. She got me two pairs of shoes. Silly mommy. Daddy got me pajamas that say "Daddy loves me." I liked those a lot. I'm actually wearing them right now. Oh, and mommy did get me a cool new kind of clothes. She says they're called "panties," so I put them on over my pants. Everyone thought that was funny, but I don't know why. Mommy says the pictures of that are on grandma's camera, and she'll put them on facebook later.

After that mommy cooked some stinky fish and I ate a bunch of cucumber. I LOVE cucumber! Then mommy, grandma, and grandpa went to church to watch some people sing. Mommy was supposed to sing, but she lost her voice somewhere. I hope she finds it soon, I'm kind of tired of her snapping and whispering at me all the time. Maybe I'll help her look for it after church tomorrow, as long as she still has time to make my cake.

I spent the evening with daddy watching movies, which was cool. I've been spending a lot of time with daddy lately, because mommy goes and babysits idiots all day long. I don't know what "idiots" are, but they all live in a huge building and throw things at each other. She says I listen WAY better than they do. I know. I'm pretty great.

Well, me and my new friend Violet are going to bed now. Birthdays are fun. I'll have to see if I can have one again soon.

Unexpected Things Happen at School

I've been subbing for almost two weeks now, and most days have been what you would expect, but today something kind of weird happened.

Alright, so I was in for a teacher in the Work and Family Life department (new name for Home Ec) and she must be strict, because her students were really, really good. The best I've had so far, in fact, and most of the day passed uneventfully.

So the last class of the day rolls around and the first students come in, a pair of girls. As I observed these girls in the five or so minutes I had before class started, I noticed that they seemed a little less socially aware than their peers. Actually, they sounded (and even looked) a lot like girls who were 10 years old or less. One was a freshman and the other was a sophomore, and you could really tell that they were... well, not at the top of the social pyramid. Here is the conversation I overheard:

Girl 1, "He talked to me yesterday!"
Girl 2, "Na-UH!!"
Girl 1, "Yeah, he totally did. I bet he'll talk to me again today. I'm going to go over there and sit by his seat and he'll talk to me again."
Girl 2, "Do it! I'm going to talk to him to!"
Girl 1, "Yeah! I'm going to sit in front of him and STARE at him the WHOLE period!" (This made no sense, since he was going to be sitting behind her.)

So Girl 1 took all of her stuff and moved it over to a desk on the far side of the room, and it's about this time I realize that whomever "he" is, "he" is in my class this period, too. And who does "he" turn out to be? No less than THE star of the football team. Of course, I didn't know that until I got home and talked to my mom, but I could tell after watching him for about 30 seconds that he was very popular. Partly because the first thing he said was (about Girl 1 without even looking at her), "Can you make her move? She annoys me."
So I smiled at Girl 1 and said, "You do need to sit in your assigned seat."

Girl 1 moves back to her seat by Girl 2, and they continue to talk loudly about Football Star, who is now in the room. I don't think they realized he could hear them, this is how child-like these girls really were.

Football Star's buddies arrive, and they start making fun of these two girls in a way that completely went over their heads. In fact, they thought this boy was flirting with them. Needless to say, for the greater part of the hour I had these kids, I was fuming at Football Star for being a jerk.

the period went on, Football Star and I had a few interactions, and he was very polite to me in a genuine way (it doesn't take long to spot the fake ones). I started to think he was ok, but towards the end of the period when the kids had finished the worksheet I gave them, things started happening again.

Girl 1, "I'm going to go over there and talk to him right now!"
Girl 2, "I'm going to talk to him, too!"

So they went over, but apparently lost their nerve about halfway there and started talking to a girl who was also probably very popular, but who was extremely nice to them. Meanwhile, Football Star has moved out of his seat with all of his stuff and is across the room. I don't know if Girl 2 thought she was flirting or not, but she asked FS if she could sit in his seat (yelling across the room). He said no, so she retorted with, "Well I'm going to sit in it anyway!" and stuck her tongue out at him. FS and his buddies wander back in that direction and the over-the-head taunting starts again. By this time, I felt like FS and I had a slight rapport, so I motioned him over and very quietly whispered, "Be nice." As in, "Listen, you're FS and all that entails, and she's obviously got some problems, so you need to be a good person." He whispers back, "I am nice," like he didn't quite get my message, so I look him in the eye and say, "I know you are, but be nice."

He kind of paused, then nodded, and I feel like he understood what I was saying. So he went back over by his desk where all of his friends were, and Girls 1 and 2 are still hanging out. I don't know exactly what happened next, but Girl 2 must have been saying that she could beat FS up, which is something I've heard very young girls threaten teen aged guys with when they think they're flirting. So FS kind of laughs it off, but Girl 2 keeps it up. Finally FS goes, "Yeah, ok, hit me."

This might be an ok thing to say to someone with fully developed social skills, but Girl 2 lacks these. Girl 2 pretended like she was going to hit him once, then twice, and FS and his buddies started laughing. I guess Girl 2 didn't like that, because she winds up and actually punched him on the shoulder.

And then she clocked him on the jaw.

Ok, maybe not "clocked him," but it was definitely her best shot. All of the students around her got really quiet, but she was completely oblivious of having crossed a big, fat line. She just kept saying, "Yeah. And I could hit you harder. You bet I could. I could hit you WAY harder than that!" all the while shaking her hand, because she probably hurt herself.

I'll be honest, I just sat there in shock. I had no idea what to do. Finally she went to walk back to her desk, and to do that she had to walk by me, and I pulled her aside and kind of whispered, "[Girl 2], that was NOT ok. You JUST CAN'T hit people!" She kind of looked surprised and scared, whispered, "I'm sorry!" and hustled it back to her seat. I think she really was sorry and actually didn't realize that what she did was totally out of line. She went back to her desk, and I walked over to FS, still really, really unsure as of what to do.

Me, "Are you ok?"
FS, "Yeah, that didn't hurt." (Girl 2 probably weighs about 30 pounds.)
Me, "Do you want me to leave a note for the teacher or take her to the office?"
FS, "No, it's cool. That girl has issues, and I don't want her to get in trouble or anything."

That's what I get for judging. If I could go back, I would have reacted sooner, called Girl 2 over in front of the class and had her apologize, but I just wasn't thinking. That is not a situation I was prepared for. Either way, FS turned out to be a really good guy.

It was a weird way to end the day, and I still wish I would have done more. What would you have done?

First Day as a Substitute Teacher!

Yesterday morning I was finally called to be a sub! At 6:15 a.m. (lovely) the sub caller for Pickerington Local SD called and asked if I'd be available to sub at Pickerington Central HS, my old stomping grounds.
It was a little weird to go back to high school, I'll be honest. I kept feeling like I should see Amanda M. pop around a corner with her hair in two twisty buns on top of her head, waving her hands and saying "Holy crap, Caitlyn! I totally just saw Mark Playko and Gina Hatfield trying to gag each other with their tongues!" and then burst in to hilarious laughter when I responded "Ew."
Anyways, the class I subbed for was Physical Science A, which most of you know is probably the worst thing other than Math that they could stick me in. It was ok, though, because the regular teacher left me a DVD to show. You know, I never realized how much subs have to go through to earn their money. It was the MOST BORING thing I've ever seen, and I had to watch it FOUR TIMES. Lovely.
Initially I was a little nervous that I wouldn't be able to maintain control over a class... it wasn't that long ago that I was in high school, and I remember how some of the students can be. Plus it doesn't help that they all, without exception, thought that I was between 17 and 19. When I told them no, I'm older than that, they upped their guess to 19 and 1/2. Super fun.
All in all though, they were great kids. I probably would've enjoyed the day more if I hadn't developed a full-blown cold sometime between 6th and 8th period. I just wish I could've done something a little more challenging than show a video.
I did run into Mrs. Mallory and Mrs. Turley, who love me still even after six years. When they found out I was a sub, they were very excited. They said, "Great! You can actually teach our classes! And you know about Senior Projects!" Oh, yes, how could I forget those lovely, life-consuming things. So maybe if I ever get called for one of them it'll be a better lesson plan.
Not only was it fun, but I already have three days lined up to work next week, one full day and two half days. Score!

Oh, and those of you who know and love Jordan will be happy to hear that he's still popular. Some kids in my last period class started talking about him. When I told them he's my brother they freaked out a little. "SERIOUSLY?! Are you SERIOUS?!! Jordan McFarland?!" Uh, yeah. There you go, Jord. You're still a celebrity.

October Update

Hi everyone. I figured it's time for an update, since it's been a long time since a real post.

I am now 14-ish weeks pregnant. I've decided to delude myself into thinking that the dates on the ultrasound are valid, and I'm personally changing my due date to April 19th, even though the doctor's office won't. So that makes me 14 weeks as of Monday. Yay, me! Morning sickness seems to be fading slowly, ever so slowly. I haven't felt great for the past two days, but I think it's because my stomach stopped demanding to be fed every 30 seconds, so I stopped feeding it as often as I should. I've got to start trying to eat more again.

Will finished his first semester of college, and we're fairly sure he got A's in both of his classes! Congrats, love, I'm SO PROUD of you!! His next semester starts on Monday, Oct. 26th, so he didn't get much of a break. He's excited about one of his classes next term, because it's all about this history of video gaming and how to design games. It's funny that a lot of the things he's studying are things I've done research on as an attempted author: character development, world-building, plot, etc. He's not so excited about his other class, Psychology, or the fact that he'll be full-time instead of part-time, but we want to get him graduated ASAP.

Chaela is doing well. She doesn't have a clue about the baby, which is fine, since it's still about 1/4 of her life so far in the future. I'll try harder to explain it to her when she can feel the baby kicking. We'll really get down to it about a week or so before he/she is born, because that's plenty of time for a toddler to prepare and wait for something, in my opinion.
She has also added to the long list of movies she loves, which now includes "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown," and "Ichabod and Mr. Toad," which mom pulled out for Halloween. The weather here has been nasty, so we haven't been outside much, but it's supposed to be pretty nice in the next few days, so I'm hoping to take her to a pumpkin patch/corn maze/hayride thing if we can. We'll see.

Also, tomorrow is Will's and my third anniversary. Woo hoo! Happy three years, Will. I love you and I'm so grateful and glad to be married to you! Let's do three more, ha ha! ;*

Slacker.

Sorry, everyone, I just haven't had it in me to blog lately. I'm going to blame it on the pregnancy. It really takes a lot out of you. I have no energy to do anything creative at all... I haven't worked on my writing in months, I have no desire to sew, I hardly even want to pick up a book and read. Oh well, it seems to be getting better. Today I felt really good, and I am on the verge of the second trimester. Keep your fingers crossed for me that the morning sickness will go away at 13 weeks instead of 22 like it did last time!

So it's not a Hysterical Pregnancy...

Yup, there's a baby in there. Surprise! For some reason I always think I'm going to go to the first ultrasound and the doctor is going to say, "So... you're not actually pregnant." But I am. And, as you can see from the dates at the bottom I'm measuring five to six days bigger than my original estimated due date. Sweet. Except they're not going to change it, because they don't unless the difference is more than seven days. That's ok, babies come when they come no matter what the due date is.

Anyways, I just thought I'd share. Yay! A baby!

Finally, After Four Tries...

I made a hat for Chaela! When we went to Memphis at the end of July to visit Jason and Jana, Jana's family was down, too. Her mom is awesome at making crocheted stuff, and she was making sweet hats for Addie and Macie. She was teaching Jana to crochet, so I sat down and she taught me, too! The hat I started in Memphis turned out HUGE, so I tried again. The next one was way tiny. My mom and I decided to go out and buy some yarn to match Chaela's coat, because I figured two practices was plenty, even if they hadn't worked out yet. So I tried again. Halfway through, I realized it was going to be big enough to fit me, so I pulled out the entire thing and started all over again. Sigh.

Finally, months after I set out to make this hat, it's FINISHED!! Here is a picture of it before I put on the flowers.



And here's a picture of it 100% done with the coat! Yay!