That's us in the summer of 2006, five years ago. Now (oh, man, I really don't want to do this...) look at this:
This is us at Christmas in 2010. There's one where you can see us a lot better, but I just can't handle putting it up. I know they say that weight gain is a sign of a happy relationship, but this is ridiculous. I have lost a few pounds since this picture was taken, but I am not going to reach my goal of losing a pound per week (52 pounds) this year. You really can't tell with Will, but he's matched my weight gain almost pound for pound, it's just harder to see. Probably because he's a guy and six feet tall.
Anyway, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of feeling like a frumpy mom. I'm tired of using my kids as a facebook profile picture because the ones of me are heinous. I'm tired of being afraid of running into people I haven't seen since college. I want to feel good about myself again. I've let myself go since being in Utah (gained back about half the weight I lost at the beginning of the year). It's time to recommit myself.
I recently bought a scale. I think being able to see myself gaining or losing weight will be exactly what I need. I wish we'd bought one sooner, then I wouldn't be starting behind... again.
There are twelve weeks left in the year. I would like to lose fifteen pounds by the end of it. This goal scares me, but if I can accomplish it, I will have lost a total of twenty pounds in 2011. That's not horrible. I would like Will to participate, but I haven't asked him yet.
I will attempt to accomplish this goal by controlling how much I eat and incorporating exercise into my routine. The exercise is going to be hard, because our place is small and my kids are underfoot. Not to mention I'm already trying to balance writing, housekeeping, sewing, cooking, and actually being mentally present with my daughters on a regular basis. Oh, and spending time with Will (ha ha, love you). Anyway, if people who do all of the above plus work can make time to be healthy, so can I.
Right?
2 comments:
If anyone knows how you feel its me! I am so sick of the way I look and feel about my body. I've been a lot better about working out and I am trying hard not to snack at work. I bring healthy stuff like carrots and sunflower seeds to work so that I am less tempted to grab a cookie or candy bar.
Feeling bad about the way you look is the worst feeling in the world. I miss being that girl who could squeeze into size 6 or 8 jeans and that didn't have to buy and XL shirt (not that a large is better, but my "assets" aren't going away any time soon). I don't want to loose weight just bc of this wedding, but to feel more like me again.
Good luck with your plan :) lets try and keep one another motivated!
YOU CAN DO IT! I once saw a snippet of a TV show where a SAHM went back to work full-time. Someone asked her if she missed her old life, and she said something like, "No, I don't miss it. I don't miss sitting around and talking to other stay-at-home-moms about losing weight and feeling fat." And I realized I am that mom! And I don't want to be. I don't want my body to be always in the back of my mind, haunting me, making me grouchy. That was one of the reasons I started taking running more seriously. So at least, even if I still was fat (and am, lol) I was doing something productive about it, whether it was showing on the scale or not. And you know, I still am frustrated by my weight (I have a goal to lose another 10 by Thanksgiving), but it is somewhat balanced by knowing I can go out and run 7 miles without much of a problem. There aren't many skinny girls who can do that! :)
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