Vortex of Darkness

Alright, this is not my kind of show.  I didn't mean to.  I didn't mean to get sucked in to the swirling vortex of darkness that is The Bachelor.  But it's happened, at least this week, and therefore I must blog.

I know a lot of people like this girl Alli, and so did I.  But after this week's episode I'm thinking she's just a clever manipulator.  So apparently none of them like the girl Vienna, but she and Jake have a stellar date and she comes back with a rose.  The next night on the group date, Alli suggests to the other women that they form "like, a pact" to get rid of Vienna.  And the next day when Vienna comes to all of the girls to apologize for her previous actions (which were apparently edited out), Alli refuses to let her do it.  And then, AND THEN!  She says, "Girls, let's all be honest with Vienna."  She's uniting them as a team against her main threat.  What do all of these girls think is going to happen when they do succeed in getting rid of Vienna?  Because it looks to me like Alli is just going to use her manipulative powers to pick them off one by one.  They don't like that Vienna is agressive in getting one-on-one time and not thinking of their feelings?  It's a competition ladies, she ain't there for you.

I hate girls who play games.  So thank goodness when that idiot Michelle tried to say, "O, woe is me, because I love you, but I cannot stand this, and my bags are packed again!" ( and don't forget to say "again" in a cheesy English accent), Jake was like, "Alright, peace out psycho."  I felt really bad for him on that group date, and I was happy he didn't give any of those harpies ahem... girls... a rose.

And this girl with the "don't kiss me" thing now claiming that she's not a tease?  Yeah right.  Some people may not be teases who say that, but this girl is.   If you're not going to kiss someone, don't talk about it, giggle, and undress them with your eyes at the same time.  Just don't kiss them. Loathe entirely.

If I had been the Bachelorette before I got married, this is the announcement I would have made:
"Hello, all you desperate men.  Here's the deal; you don't know me.  Let's not pretend like you're all instantly in love with me, because you're not.  In fact, some of you won't like me, and I won't like you.  So let's move forward from this point in an orderly manner.  All crazies will be going home tonight."  I feel like this small service announcement would solve the show's problems.

Genius idea!  Two bachelors at once.  Incredible!  I should be a producer.

Check out Mama Kat's take on this week's Bachelor, too.