Two Weeks

Well, Joci is almost four weeks old (she will be on Tuesday) and I can't believe how time has flown by.  As I've told a few people lately, the four weeks since her birth have gone by faster than the one week before it, and I'm glad.  It's incredibly incredible to have my body back again.

One of the things I'm looking forward to, kind of, is being able to work out again.  It's been over three years since I gained a bunch of weight, and I'm tired of it.  I like to think I would have reached my goal by now if I hadn't been interrupted by pregnancy.  I'm actually a little afraid I won't be able to force myself to get back into it like I was, especially since I'm not working at a fitness center this time around.  However, I am inspired by my husband and his family, especially my brother-in-law Danny, who has lost about 60 pounds, my sister-in-law, Jana, who could kick my butt at any kind of work out, and my father-in-law, Tom, who gets up ridiculously early to climb mountains for fun.  If I can be like them, I will once again look like this:

My family is also pretty inspiring, I guess, because they're all skinny.  Like this:

But that mostly only makes me feel vaguely guilty around the holidays, when I see my sisters.

Anyway, enough photoshop and rambling.  Mostly I just wanted to announce that I'm recommitting to getting into shape now that I'm no longer pregnant.  I can do it!

Many Thoughts

I'm having many thoughts right now.  Hopefully it's a sign that brain function is returning after pregnancy.

I am thinking I wish my sister would post more pictures of her new baby, and also that they are a sad replacement for not being able to see my nephew in person.

I am thinking I'm going to eat this entire bag of Kettle Corn, because it only has 150 calories, even though the last time I did I got a stomach ache.

I am thinking about my hair.  Look at this:

It's just kind of a lot.  I don't know when it got that long.  I'm torn, because part of me feels like I *must* donate it to Locks of Love, because it's something I've been blessed with and I, in turn, need to share it.  However, the selfish part of me doesn't know if I want to cut it that short, because long hair is hot (meaning I'd still cut it, but only a few inches, not enough to donate), and I've been pregnant for so long that I want to hold on to the things that make me feel that way.  I just keep not deciding and it just keeps getting longer.  I need opinions on this.  What do you guys think I should do?

I am thinking I need to start writing again.  I've recharged my batteries by reading about 20 YA novels (no exaggeration, I've literally read that many recently) and given birth to the baby that was using all my creative energy, so I think I'm just about ready to start again.

I am thinking that Netflix is freaking awesome.  We pay not very much money every month and have access to TONS of awesomeness online... like all four seasons of Bones, which I am diligently working through.  We also have access to a bunch of kid movies that I'd never waste my money on but Chaela loves.  Nice.

That's all for now.  Just a bunch of random stuff.  Too much for a facebook status, but a decent blog, right?  Don't forget to tell me what you think I should do about my hair!!

Ode to my Breast Pump

Every once in a while, something comes into my life that is so darn useful I must dedicate a blog to it, as I did with my Crock Pot (which I would link, but don't have time to find).  This time, it's my breast pump, the Ameda Purely Yours.

Why is it so great?  Well, there are two reasons that hold equal weight with me.  Firstly, it gives me relief when Joci falls asleep after only nursing on one side, which she does almost every single time she eats.  With Chaela, there was no choice but to be sore until she was ready to eat again.  This time, I can pump the other side, leaving me much more comfortable.

Second, every once in a blue moon, I can sleep for more than 2-3 hours in a row.  How, you ask?  Because of my breast pump and my incredible husband, who gets up with Joci and feeds her some pumped milk so I can get some sleep (even though I can't go past six hours without waking up anyway due to fullness).

Just to be clear, I like breastfeeding, mostly, now that the pain is 95% gone, and that's what Joci gets most of the time.  However, my breast pump lets me be free to sleep or get out of the house for a little while without freaking out about being home before she wakes up hungry.  Also, it's easier on nipples than she is, so they get a break every once in a while if they desperately need it.  I <3 it, and I thought you all should know.

Also, if you're looking for a pump, the model I have is highly recommended by nurses and such, at least the one I talked to in the hospital.  It's comparable to the Medela Pump in Style, but has better reviews and is over $100 cheaper (also, you can sell the motor part once you're finished without worrying about hygiene, unlike other brands...check out the links for more info). 

If you're in the market for a breast pump, I'd recommend checking out breastpumpsdirect.com.  It's where I got mine.  It lets you compare side-by-side, has all the major brands, and quite a few reviews for each model. 

Pretty much the best thing I own right now.

10 Honest Things

My friend Amanda @ Welcome to My Life gave me this award and challenged me to do it, so here it is: ten honest things about me.

1) My biggest regret in life so far, as I was telling a friend today, is that I could have done so much better in college. I graduated with a pathetic GPA when I know I could have been a mostly A student if I had tried. I will always regret this.

2) I'm trying to breastfeed my daughter, Joci, for about a year. It's been nine days, and I've remembered... it's hard. At this age they eat every 2-4 hours, 8-12 feedings per day. Each feeding takes about 1/2 hour. That's 4-6 hours every day. Not to mention the soreness of being too full and the pain when she latches on (which is getting better, but still there). I'm sticking by my decision, but it's taking more of my willpower than I thought it would.

3) I'm glad to have children. More than glad. I love my daughters desperately. However, I miss the body I had when I got married, and if I ever have the money, you can bet I'm lasering these stretch marks away.

4) I am also lasering away my leg hair. I hate shaving my legs and Will doesn't find them appealing when they're hairy (I know, weird, right?). Unfortunately for both of us, I'd have to shave every day to always have smooth legs, so they'll be getting lasered.

5) I already wish someone would watch Joci for one night so I could just one night of unbroken sleep. I've started getting migraines because of lack of sleep and a screwed up schedule. Gross.

6) When I was in preschool I had a boyfriend named Bobby. Thinking back, I wonder if he knew that he was. I also had a boyfriend named Bobby in the sixth grade.

7) In high school, I would blush if a boy who was even remotely attractive made direct eye contact with me. I am not exaggerating. I was painfully shy around guys until I was 20, at which point I became a flirt and a flake until I met Will and was reformed. I met Will at 21, so my fun didn't last long.

8) I love the idea of gardening, but I'm not sure how I'll do if I ever get a chance to have one of my own. I'd get it planted ok, but probably lose interest once I realize how much work it really is. I'll probably try and talk some poor soul into sharing a garden with me someday and then abandon them with the work until harvest time, when I'll show up with a bunch of empty baskets and my kids to do all the picking.

9) I'm afraid that my daughters will hate me when they're teenagers, especially Chaela (since I don't know Joci very well yet). She's so strong-willed and independent that I know she won't want to listen to me. I'm afraid she'll get into trouble, and I'm afraid I'll try too hard to control her and lose her instead. This is one of my greatest fears.

10) I don't understand why people fight so hard these days to hold onto irresponsibility, extending what used to be a college lifestyle into their late twenties and early thirties (and beyond). Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't think that the years of being single and partying should be the best years of your life. I believe these years, the ones where I am a grown-up, are the best of my life. They're not the most fun. They're hard, and sometimes they're downright scary, especially with money as tight as it is, but I'm more fulfilled and happy than I could ever be wasting my life thinking only of myself.

So, now I'm supposed to award this challenge to five other people.  I'll list you, and you can participate if you want.  Also feel free to do it if I don't list you.

Kristin @ House of Jacob

Lindsay @ Schenk'd

Jana @ The Hair Schweedahts

Brooke @ B&B

Diane @ The Walker's Weblog

Vacations

Today I was thinking about vacations.  Here is my fantasy:

When I'm rich (when, ha!), I am fully committing to taking three vacations per year. 

1) A vacation for just Will and I, because since we've had children I've missed him.  Also, to this day we've never had a honeymoon, and I plan on making it up to us by taking one every single year as soon as that's possible.  They don't have to be fancy, just a long weekend alone would suffice.  But I would like to go somewhere big (like Scotland, where he served his mission) once every several years or so.

2) A vacation with my sisters and/or friends, like a long weekend on a beach where we can sip virgin strawberry daiquiris and ogle younger men.  No husbandsor kids allowed.

3) A family vacation with our kids at least one week long to somewhere fun, like camping or Disney.

Stipulations on vacations are as follows: visiting family for the holidays may not count as one of these vacations, though the family vacation can be made with other families.  Sister/friend vacations must be taken in only extremely relaxing locations, preferably somewhere with lawn chairs and a large body of water.  Sister/friend and Will vacations may not include any children whatsoever, or else it doesn't count.

I love fantasies, don't you?  Do you have one like this?

A Joci Story

Well, we've been home for a day and a half now, and I guess it's time to post my story! (You know the great thing about written communication? I can put that exclamation point and "sound" excited, even though in real life I'm way too tired to attempt to sound like I am. Ha ha. Anyways...)

So I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but I had two false alarm trips to Labor and Delivery in the weeks leading up to Joci's birth because I kept contracting off and on. Needless to say, I was not about to go in for a third time unless I was sure.

So, according to the ultrasound measurements, I was due on Monday, the 19th. Well, Monday came and went without anything happening at all, and I was all set to ask my doctor to induce me as soon as I could get in after my Tuesday (the 20th) appointment. I went to bed frustrated and uncomfortable around 11:30.

At 12:30 I woke up, noticed I was once again having contractions, but that they were a little different from others I'd had. These were mostly in my lower abdomen and felt a lot more uncomfortable than any of the others I'd had. Unwilling to get my hopes up, I rolled over and went back to sleep.

At 3 am, I woke up again and decided I should probably time them, since they were still coming. You're supposed to time them for an hour, but after 15 minutes of regular contractions every four or so minutes, I decided it was time. By 3:50, Will and I were on our way to the hospital.

We got there around 4:15 and were told it would be a few minutes, as I was the fourth person to come in that night thinking it was my time. We waited until 5:00 or so, I'm not sure. My contractions weren't so bad I couldn't stand it, so it wasn't that bad. They finally admitted us to the "testing area" and hooked me up. My contractions were mediocre and I was only dilated about 1/2 cm farther than I had been at my appointment the week before, so I was told to get up and walk for an hour.

There is almost nothing more boring than the L&D ward at my hospital, just so you know.

After my hour walk, contrary to what I wanted, I hadn't progressed any more and my contractions were "fizzling out." But thanks to the fact that this was my second pregnancy, they didn't want to send me home. I had to walk for another hour.

At this point, I was extremely frustrated. I focused all of my energy on one thought: If they send me home, I won't cry until I get in the car... I won't cry until I get in the car... I was pretty tired, which made it hard not to be emotional.

My second hour of walking seemed to help. I hadn't progressed any farther, but my contractions were strong, regular, and close together. They decided to keep me, and I did cry a little, I was so relieved.

By the time I was finally given a room, it was about 9:30. By the time I'd gotten poked and tubed and attached to everything, it was after 10 am. I had been at the hospital for SIX. HOURS. I was tired.

They said they'd be back "in a half an hour" to break my water and get things moving. They came in and checked me at 11:30-ish, and I'd only progressed another centimeter, making it a grand total of two since I'd arrived. They broke my water and left, and I was thinking maybe the baby wouldn't be there until later in the evening. At 12:35, they came back and I was dilated to an eight, and the nurse must have done something when she checked me, because immediately after she did I started feeling like I would need to push very, very soon. They called my doctor, who, luckily wasn't too far away. By the time he got there, she was literally a half an inch from entering the world whether I pushed her in or not.

My doctor is a very efficient kind of guy, and not really super chatty. He walked in, suited up, and was basically like, "Ok, push."

What? Now? Uh, ok.

After having Chaela, I was ready to fight the good fight for a while, because with her it was two forward, one back for 45 minutes. With Joci, it was two contractions. I liked this one better.

So Jocelyn Eve joined us at 1:02 pm on April 20, 2010. She weighed 7 lbs, 7 oz. and, like her older sister, was 20 inches long (technically a little shorter, one nurse said 19 and 1/2 and another said 19 and 7/8, so she rounded up). She already nurses really, really well and poops constantly, so that's good.

She's different from Chaela in that she's not quite as laid back. Chaela would mostly just hang out and let you do whatever. Joci hates diaper and clothing changes with a passion. She also hates being hungry and bathes. She has a very loud "angry cry." But, so far, she doesn't cry for no reason. She also loves to cuddle, which could just be because she's two days old, but if I remember right, Chaela didn't care much even at this point. It's kind of nice, and I'll admit that I was hoping for a cuddly baby this time around.

The coolest thing is that it looks like she has darker hair than Chaela did, and I was kind of hoping for a little girl with my coloring this time. Her skin also seems a little less pale. Of course, that could all change, so we'll have to see what she looks like as she gets older.

Anyway, I'm extremely out of it because I'm tired and on pain medication for my after-birth cramps, so I'm going to wrap this up.  I have a lot of thoughts about second babies and things like that, but it will have to wait until I'm not so tired that my extremities are going numb.

Welcome to the world, Joci Eve!

The Worst Time for a Cold

I feel like I'm home sick from school, which is weird, because it's Saturday.  Unfortunately, as most of you know, I got the cold that has been going around my family.  I'm pretty mad, because I want to be 100% when I go into labor, which could be any time now.  I managed not to get it from Will or my mom, but when your small child gets sick, I don't feel like there's much you can do to keep from getting it, too.  Especially a child as in your face as Chaela. 

Oh, well.  Benedryl is allowed, but all we have is the children's stuff.  I've been using it anyway and taking about 2/3 an adult dose instead of a full one, just because it works ok and I don't get as tired.  Funny story, though, I gave some to Chaela for the first time because she still has her cold, and I've never seen that kid go down so fast.  She's still sleeping.  Wahahaha!  I'm an evil mom.

Anyway, that's all.  Just posting because I'm bored.  Obviously there's still no baby, but I'm hoping it will be less than a week.  Don't worry, we'll keep you updated!

Another Update

Well, I don't have anything better to do, so I figured I'd post about my appointment today.

It went pretty well.  I'm 3 cm dialated, 60% effaced, and the baby is at -2 (You have to get to 10 cm dialated at 100% effaced to push the baby out, so it's far-ish considering I haven't been in active labor).  It kind of makes me nervous, though, that when real labor starts the baby will pop right out and I'll barely make it to the hospital in time.

I finally asked my doctor how long he'd let me go before being induced, and he said that he'd do it at 39 weeks if I wanted (according to me, I reached that point yesterday, according to them it's not until Friday, because I'm going by my 10 week ultrasound measurements and they're going by my estimated due date, which is April 23). 

I was kind of surprised, because my doctor in UT made it sound like elective induction wasn't even an option unless I was a week overdue or more.  This doctor spent several minutes making it clear that induction carries a much higher risk of a C-section (up to 50% if you're cervix isn't "favorable"), but that was before he checked me and found out I am extremely "favorable," at which point he was basically like, "Yeah, we'll schedule a date at your next appointment."

Nice.

But I'm not sure how I feel about elective induction before it's medically necessary, you know?  If she's still in there it's probably for a reason.  Of course, with the way I'm still cramping/contracting irregularly, I feel like one tiny shot of pitocin would send me right over the edge and into active labor.

He also said, though it's never for sure, that from the way my cervix looks he expects me to go in to labor "spontaneously" anytime in the next two weeks.  So cross your fingers for this week, because that's what I'd prefer, and I don't think I have the willpower to wait.  If I do need to be induced, depending on Will's final's schedule, I'll probably go for it anytime after my doctor's appointment on April 20th (one week from today).

Woo hoo!

Just Waiting...

Well, I was hoping she'd come early, but as time goes on I'm not feeling like she will.  I've had two false alarm trips to labor and delivery and I'm not going again until I'm positive she's coming.  Fine and dandy, but my body is starting to drive me crazy!

The morning of my birthday (April 6th) I was having pretty regular/strong-ish contractions, but they never got worse and eventually faded.  Since then, nothing until last night, when I woke up feeling crampy, like I was on my period.  It was more uncomfortable than any contractions I'd had, but there weren't any contractions.  So I got out of bed for about an hour to see what would happen and the feeling went away.  I went back to bed and it came back, so I went to sleep and ignored it.

This morning I'm exhausted from being up in the middle of the night and having Chaela come into our room sometime around 5 or 5:30, plus still feeling crampy when  I got out of bed, so I'm home from church.  Crampy feeling went away this morning until I laid down for a nap.  Slept for about an hour and a half and woke up more crampy and uncomfortable than ever.  Got up and emptied the dishwasher and crampiness went away.

So now I'm sitting here, still feeling generally blah and wishing my water would just break.  That way I'd know that it's time to go in, which is what happened with Chaela.  The people at L&D probably already think I'm crazy.  At the same time, I'm not even due for more than a week, so maybe all of this is due to my wishful thinking, and if I'd stop thinking about it, I'd stop having pointless contractions!

Sigh.

What about my friends with babies out there?  Did your water break?  How did you know it was time to go to L&D if it didn't?

Popcorn Popping All Over Me

As you all know, Will grew up out west, which means, essentially, that he has never experienced a gas stove top until now.  In turn, this means he's never popped popcorn in one of those foil things that you hold over the burner (you can do it on an electric stove according to the box, but he never has).

This is what happened.

In honor of the occasion, I have rewritten a beloved LDS children's song.

I looked up from eating lunch and what did I see?

Popcorn flying all around me.

Will had caught me quite by surprise.

Popcorn flying right before my eyes.

I could sweep it all up and still find more,

Popcorn landing all over the floor.

Was it really so?

Yes, there seems to be

A popcorn mess all around me.

Lucky for Will, the box came with two stove top popcorn things.  His next attempt went much better.

Life lessons.